Monday, 13 October 2014

Anger Management

June 14, 2014

Anger management – easier said than done. Getting annoyed or irritated when one does not get the attention, which the person feels he/she deserves and the situation suddenly becomes uncomfortable. As long as one is watching life from a distance, one can speak of tools of anger management and emotion management. The real test happens when the same person goes through the moment where patience wears thin and the ego starts taking over and anger raises its head. The ability to diffuse any such situation with humour can be of paramount importance.

Statistics point out a huge percentage of children homicides occur in the hands of their own parents across the world. The parent concerned is unable to explain- “what came over him/her” and that they could not control themselves and murdered their own. In the animal world it is not uncommon for the mother to eat its own child but that is primarily for food. However, for homosapiens, satisfying ones own hunger is never a reason to kill its own. But sadly, it can be for satisfying ones egoL. The reasons can differ from case to case, however the point to be understood is that anger management and emotion management is a much required tool for the humans at all stages of their lives but it is not taught in any school or university. So how and where does one learn to take charge of annoying, difficult and upsetting situations/ people? It happens in some ways when we start digging into spiritual literature and learn to accept rather than control. But sadly, it can be too late before one realises that he/she needs help to take charge or control of emotions. The other point is that in schools also this can be taught by the teachers along with Maths, Science, English etc. which are much needed for academic excellence. Soft skills have been given their due importance in the corporate world for success but at the school level also some induction should be mandatory for children and their parents.

Children are possibly the easiest target of domestic violence and then in the Indian context it happens to a large number of wives. The statistics may differ for urban and rural India but there is no denying the fact that domestic violence in India is a social problem and it does not differentiate between the educated and the uneducated class. We function in a society with rules, however whenever there are rules they get broken as well. Might makes everything right.  With power should come responsibility but instead it begets ego. Power makes humans vindictive.

Acceptance and detachment can help in nurturing healthy and balanced relationships, however expectations and inability to meet those expectations create issues where there are sometimes none. We keep seeing life through the mirror that we hold in our hands and therefore expect from people what we give to them. It starts right from our own children and family and keeps extending into all our walks of life. The give and take creates such a web, that we are never able to give without thinking of the return. 

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